Madness

sitting in the corner
at the corner looking
white room
comfy, closed, cool
light comes from an unreachable place
unbreakable place
unswallowable place

at the corner looking
sameness
lines touch
always, the same touch
lines in the walls, lines in the corners.

white room
room full of corners
fool of corners
can't think of anything else

comfy, close, cool
harmless
but the pain calls for harm
the face inside calls for a face outside.

light comes from an unreachable place
has it not always
why does that confuse so
why is this unreachable different from everyday unreachable?

unbreakable place
can't break itself
can't be broken
but the fragments are strewn all over the head
the mind is broken
even though the skull isn't, can't be

unswallowable place
no choking
no cutting
no relief after so much light
no rest - ever
like forever it feels to be there
in this place

unswallowable place
unbreakable place
light comes from an unreachable place
comfy, closed, cool
white room
at the corner looking
sitting in the corner

Crash

I want to crash into you.

I may be but a speck of dust
yet like a black hole,
you pull so hard I can barely tell
there's another state of being
an alternative
to hurtling towards you.

Even though I see the ways things could pan out
it's thrilling to go, faster -
you pull so hard I can barely take it
I know if we were to collide
the crater
would be bigger than any in the moon.

I want to crash into you,
I ache to just make a hole the size of Siberia in your life
and mine - expanded, changed, transformed
if so far there's been change
I wonder
what it would be like
if I were to crash into you.

I want to crash into you
and your fields of thyme and paprika
lemon pepper and earth
fall from the sky into that reality
embrace it
get soaked in it
be changed.

I want it - you pull so hard
I want to crash into you.

Random Memory

early morning
crisp, cold air all around
drawn curtains
time, frozen
the buzz that cradled him to sleep was still there
calming.

Already he knew he would cherish that memory,
that smell,
those sounds.

Lowering from the bunk bed,
the Batman bedsheets left behind
feet touch the ground
cold
oooh, so, so, very cold.

Already he knew he would cherish that memory,
that sensation,
those emotions.

Turning on the small TV
making sure the volume is really, really low
starting up the game
turning off the A/C - that cold would hold for a few hours
such cold feet now, weird.

Sitting down
purple chair, tiny - too tiny, but full of memories soon to come and soon to go
the controller feels cold, too
playing a little bit
monkeys running around
crocodiles, and beavers, and bees, and rhinos
the stuff of dreams right there.

Sister wakes up,
doesn't want to play head to head
let's just beat the game
talk a while
pause, for some reason
and the chill music so often heard
when they had to go down for breakfast
or lunch
or showering
or brushing their teeth
or out to play
that music could drive anyone insane if they heard it so often.

But it was, as was it all
happy.

Safe Path

not a license for thorns
or skin being torn
and leaking
spilling
the lifeblood of happiness without control
- it's freedom I wish for you.

letting the mule pick the road
accepting she knows
is not the same as closing the eyes
boldly
while walking along it
knowing not what home she takes you to.

a balm
fresh and warm and green
safe
a road you can look at and know
instantly
not a branch will catch your clothes
and steps will succeed each other
with blades of grass caressing your toes
and earth supporting you
Earth supporting you and letting you know
what home you're going to
- it's freedom I wish for you
to have life and eyes wide open
and just smile.

Memory Of You

of course I'll carve a space

     una cuevita al lado de la vereda...

A space and then some to spare

     nadie visita ni la revisa

I'll light a fire in the carving, too

    tiene una sombra que se asoma

let the name rest forever in the shade

    de una palma - árbol, no mano

in a cave, by the road

    resguardando un recuerdo atesorado

where no one will think to look

Sin Fe

un momento de silencio
debajo del sol viendo el tiempo pasar
suficiente para preguntarte si todo fue un sueño
o si fue real y lo dejaste morir.

ese arroyo que brotó de repente
del que tomaste
¿ilusión?

esa corriente de miedo
que te hizo anclarte desesperadamente
¿esperanza?

un momento de soledad
montado en el tiempo, viendo el silencio pasar
suficiente para preguntarte si estabas despierto
o si estás en un sueño esperando la realidad.

Own Them (Feelings)

Yes
these feelings again
wring my heart and own it
even for a while
even if you don't know
even if no one knows.

Yes, time and time alive.
I never needed it
I never missed it
until I had it again.


Own it, own the feeling, own me.
even if you never remember my eyes on you
on your smile
on your hands
on your ankles
on your soul - everything blurry, I couldn't get it right
but it didn't stop me from imprinting the universe
on what little I could see


and have this again
although I never missed it
and never knew I needed
to feel alive another time -

another time when no one knows
and you don't know
even for a while
you're wringing my heart
you own it
own me --

for a price
for a minute
eternal
joyful
now.